The sticker…	Comments…
Mothering -- A Proud Profession	Thanks, Jeff and Kiki, 8/2000
A Royal Flush Beats A Full House!	Thanks, Al P., 12/2000, who says he saw this on a septic pumping truck in Huntsville, Ontario.
It Takes Alkynes to Make a World	Thanks, Kerry O., February 2001, who adds that this is "a little chemistry humor."
Don't kill criminals -- you might starve an attorney	Thanks, Burl V., January 2001.
Geologists Have Their Schist Together	Thanks, Kerry O., September 2000.
AND GOD SAID UNTO THE SHEPHERDS "F**K OFF THIS IS CATTLE COUNTRY"	Thanks, Terry Tomlin from the UK, December 1999.
Where I work, the squeaky wheel gets replaced	Thanks, Martin Bones, September 1999. This isn't always true, though, is it.
If you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs you have failed to grasp the situation	Thanks, Simon B., Canberra, Australia, April 1999.
I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead	Thanks, Kathy S., March 1999
Don't piss me off - I'm running out of places to hide the bodies
I only work here because I've become accustomed to certain luxuries....eating and living indoors	bumper sticker posted on bulletin board at work, Longmont, Co. Thanks, Mark L., January 1999.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
No one is listening until you make a mistake. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
A woman's favorite position is CEO.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
Help wanted: telepath. You know where to apply.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
Editing is a rewording activity.	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
Feel safe tonight ... Sleep with a cop.	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
I'm a corporate executive -- I keep things from happening.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Load Back!	Seen on a septic service truck (a.k.a., &quothoney wagon." Thanks, Dave N., August 1998
If you object to logging try using plastic toilet paper	I heard a DJ mention seeing this up in Maine, July 1998, and reiterated by Pieter Litchfield, April 1999
Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now.	Thanks, Kathy S., July 1998
The worm that sleeps in, doesn't get eaten	Thanks, Brent V., June 1998
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.	Get it? The first mouse gets killed in the trap, the second mouse doesn't have to worry about the trap!
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Remember that overnight success usually takes about 15 years
Bad Cop No Donut	(Who in their right mind would invite trouble by putting this antagonizer on his or her bumper?)
We make your ants say uncle.	Seen on the back of an exterminator's truck.
Have you hugged your LP gas man today?
My lawyer can beat up your lawyer
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy
If you can read this - THANK A TEACHER!

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